Build resilient relationships with five easy actions
Derek Robertson , CEO
(Chartered FCIPD, MCMI, MInstLM, NLP Practitioner and Coach)
Author of The Great Cape Escapade (A Fable about effective meetings)
6 min read
Introduction
AI aside, us humans, perhaps more than ever get things done through our relationships. It follows that we should be great at building them. In fact, one client while briefing us went further asking us for a programme to build resilient relationships.
Let me use perhaps the most famous acronym in managing people SMART. Only I’m going to use it to help you build relationships not performance objectives. And just as performance objectives are on their way out (did I say that aloud?) so building strong resilient relationships is on the rise.
Building SMART relationships
To help you I’ve distilled down decades of practice into these five ingredients.
| S | Show an active interest in him/her personally as well as professionally |
| M | Make sure of an early victory to show your focus on delivery |
| A | Always keep your word |
| R | Review results to highlight how good you are |
| T |
Two ears one mouth. Be a top listener |
I’ll explore each one with you in some more detail with a free helper for you to download.
Show an active interest in the person personally as well as professionally
In the end, business gets done between people. You’ll achieve more when you’re in rapport with someone and understand them, their business and their challenges. And you show all of that in your actions.
The twee sound bite is, “To invest in your ‘relationship bank’ because one day you might have to make a withdrawal.” There, I’ve said it.
Here’s an example. During one conversation about work, our client mentioned that she coaches a local table tennis team. Shortly afterward I noticed a magazine article about table tennis that included useful case studies. I sent her it and she was very appreciative.
The power of this action is just as much about your remembering as the article itself.
Make sure of an early victory to show your focus on delivery
This is so important because it assures you of a great start. This is especially so if your customers are sceptical about your services or your abilities. All you need to do is:
- Be super-clear in your mind what will show and early victory to them.
- Pull out all the stops to deliver it.
- Make sure the customer notices that you delivered.
Always keep your word
Sounds obvious but so many people fail in this area.
- Get into a routine of replying to every enquiry.
- Never, I mean never, ghost people.
- Agree reasonable time frames for delivery. Better to discuss at the start than agree to the impossible and fail.
- If you can’t deliver on the agreed time, keep your customer posted.
Some of these connect to what we know about customer service, such as over 95% will be advocates for you if you fix problems quickly
Review results to highlight how good you are
It’s so true that unless you highlight what you do, your customers may not notice.
- Periodically ask for feedback.
- Add to your future meetings an item to find out how you’re doing.
- Send follow up notes reflecting back to your customers what they said in their feedback.
One thing feedback
Staff, internal contacts and customers are often shy or cagey about giving feedback. However, it is so important to your relationship. I use the ‘one thing’ approach to get feedback from customers. I even phrase it tentatively because that makes it even easier for people to respond. Check these out:
“I want to make sure you get the best possible service from my team. What’s one thing we do well for you just now?”
“And what perhaps might be something we could do differently?”
The point is a powerful one. It’s that asking for feedback from your customers does three important things:
- Draws the customers’ attention to how good you are
- Gives you feedback on which to act
- Motivates you.
Two ears one mouth. Be a top listener
People need to be heard, acknowledged and feel valued. Perhaps listening is already your top skill. Or perhaps you’ve a way to go. Regardless become brilliant at listening, asking quality questions, summarising and note taking. Your customers will notice and they’ll love you for it.
Final thought
If you only do one thing after reading this blog, use the 'one thing' approach to get some feedback.
Your next action
Check out the following free resources and downloads to help you: